Sunday I was asked to be the panel person at LifeTeen for the "Single" person vocation. It was slightly awkward and I felt completely unprepared and so there were many things I wanted to communicate that just didn't see the tip of my tongue.
Mostly, I wanted to address the issue of my beliefs about dating. I was trying to address the issue of graduating from physical chastity to a chastity of the heart. Now, keep in mind, these are "new"-ish beliefs for me because I certainly haven't always practiced this and I've still been praying over this and coming to a better understanding of this...but I think it's more of a maturation rather than a brand new epiphany.
See, one of the common arguments for dating is that it's necessary so that a person can learn more about themselves and what they do and don't like in a relationship. One of the fundamental problems with this theory is that it automatically sets up the other person to be used like a tool. I mean, it's like "let me get out the check list and see which qualities you stack up on and which you don't."
Your identity and all that that entails comes from God, not from others. When you give your heart to God and not away to your latest boyfriend (or girlfriend), you find out who you are in Christ. And for me, that security of the knowledge of who I am within and through and because of God has told me more about the kind of man I hope to marry than any of my other relationships combined. It's hard, but it's a refining and purifying challenge that make you stronger in your core identity - at your very soul.
I don't know if my words have been able to capture what I truly mean and feel, but it's something I'm experiencing and it has made me a happier and free-er person because of it. I don't think the results are unique to me, though. ;)
<3
1 week ago
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